23 Jul

Hops, Hangovers, and Heartbreaks

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This week’s guest blog is brought to us by Carla Jo! Carla Jo attends more Girls Pint Out events than church, has a really good outlook on life, and always has a great story to tell. Thank you Carla for this personal look into your dating life and craft beer.

“I’d rather date a guy who wears pleated jean shorts than a guy who drinks Michelob Ultra.”
That’s what I said to Tamre last week while picking beer at the Fisher’s United Package store on 116th. While debating between  Rouge’s Hazelnut Brown Nectar or a Chimay Ale, I thought to myself “How did I get here? How am I single, 27 and obsessed with finding, tasting and buying craft beer?”

The answer is simple- men. Ex-boyfriends to be exact. Everyone has something they take from failed relationships. For some its music, others it’s a love for a sports team and sometimes it’s a stack of long sleeved T-shirts. For me- it’s always been about the beer.

Dear guys, dudes and the few who call yourself men, heed my warning:
Your beer says more about you than you think.

After college, I dated “that guy.” You know the one who speaks to his friends in short, playful insults, plays video games as often as possible and grunts “huh? Sure, whatever” when you ask him a question. We were your typical social couple, going out often, at each bar he would order me whatever beer was on special. It was always draft and always in a plastic cup. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated his willingness to take charge and to buy and pay for drinks, but the lack of concern for my taste buds and the predictability of our drink order was painfully similar to the routine of our dating life. We parted amicably and I still think of him every time I see those semi translucent 8 oz. plastic cups of lukewarm Miller Lite. I do not miss him, the bad hangover or the stale taste in my mouth after a night of flippy cup.
Lesson: Unless you are playing beer pong, quarters or any rapid fire type game that would prevent you from enjoying the notes of a good stout, I would recommend drinking something other than the equivalent of stale frat house keg beer.

Next guy I dated was a bit more mature, and he was my introduction to craft beer, my training wheels in developing a love for a brew with a little personality. He drank Scottish, Irish, American, Belgian, Lagers, Bocks, IPAs, Porters, Hefeweizens, Stouts he loved them all! We constantly tried different beers; he brought over mixed six packs, and every time we drank there was something new to try. It was great until I realized his love of variety did not just apply to his beer, but also to his women. We broke up, but I was thankful for the stamps in my beer passport and the pack of Bell’s Two-Hearted he left behind.
Lesson: An IPA will never know if you cheat on it, a woman always will.

Now, the most recent guy I dated, whoa… he knew his beers and looked good drinking them. Our first date was at Rock Bottom and I impressed him with my stellar beer knowledge. Instead of thinking of me as a lush, I became his beer tasting partner in crime. Over the next five months we tried new beers, visited breweries, lugged growlers and racked up quite the tab at the Beer Cave. Having lived in Colorado, he opened my eyes to a completely different region of craft beer. We texted during my Girls Pint Out events and planed our meals around the selection I would bring home from tastings. When it came to beer, my opinions mattered. Sadly, that’s the only part in the relationship I had a say in. When things finally fizzled I toasted to another failed relationship with his favorite beer, Stone’s Arrogant Bastard. Fitting… as that’s exactly what he turned out to be.
Lesson: You are what you drink.

Guys, I believe the beer you drink not only tells women how much or little you know about beer, but also how you will treat us. Be forewarned, the ladies of Indianapolis are wising up (thanks in part to Girls Pint Out and the awesome craft beer movement.) We are now looking for the perfect beer and a guy to share it with.

-Carla Jo

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